It is an interesting phenomenon that a person can know something to be true and proper yet do the exact opposite. People who smoke will tell you that smoking is bad all while lighting another cigarette. We know we should eat healthy food, but why not have another piece of that yummy cake? Should I go to sleep on time? Of course. Do I go to sleep on time? Almost never. Why is it that what we know and what we do (or more correctly, the way we act) are so different.
The sages of Mussar (Jewish character development) have discussed this very point at length. They have found that there is a gap between our intellectual knowledge and our emotions. I know I should be on a diet, yet my body yearns for the cake. My actions are very much controlled by my emotions even though I know clearly how bad my actions are for me. Because of the power of the emotions, I barely flinch at doing what I know is wrong.
Being powerless to the influence of our emotions is very dangerous. It can lead us astray and take us to places that we do not want to go. What is worse, when the brain has taken a backseat, we have actually gone very far before we realize what we have done. It is important to not only realize the problem, but to rectify it. How do we close the gap between our intellect and emotions?
There is a powerful concept in mussar called hispylus, (התפעלות). The idea is a simple but powerful one. Through the repetition of a phrase, usually one from a mussar book, the person drives the idea deep within themselves. Imagine the phrase “There is no need to worry. Hashem has been taking care of your from day one.” Upon first reading it, we might say, “Sure, of course, Hashem has been taking care of us. I know that.” It seems pretty obvious to us. After 20 times, we might start to think, “You know, it’s true, Hashem really does take care of us. Remember that one time…” After many many times of saying the phrase over and over again, the phrase is no longer just a phrase. The thought becomes so clear in our mind that we are no longer just saying something we know, we are saying something we feel. It is an amazing exercise.
Why does this work? What happens is that the repetition makes a rhythm, allowing us to interact with the phrase beyond the meaning of the words. Think about a song that you love. Chances are the song arouses emotion within you, and that is a big part of why you like the song. Songs can excite and invigorate you. Songs can also cause you to cry or feel depressed. Songs bridge the gap between the intellectual and the emotional. Many Chassidim sing niggunim, which are powerful songs that arouse emotion. Rabbi Tatz explains that the letters of niggun are nun (נ), gimmel (ג), nun (נ). The letters spell nun gan (נ גן). In Hebrew, all letters have numerical value. The numerical value of nun is 50. The word gan means garden. A niggun (song) can take you to the 50th garden. In Judaism, the number 50 is seen as representing something above and beyond. The Torah tells us to count 49 days after Passover, and the 50th is the festival of Shavuot. The Torah instructs us to count seven cycles of seven years, and the 50th year is the Jubilee year.
When we sign a song, the music, the niggun takes us to a place (the 50th garden) that we can’t reach merely with words. We transverse from intellect to emotions, and reach a much deeper place. When we go through the exercise of hispylus, we do the same thing. A phrase such as “There is no need to worry. Hashem has been taking care of your from day one,” becomes very real and penetrates into our emotions. It is very common for a person to begin to cry during hispylus. When the exercise is over, the person is left with a much stronger understanding of whatever it is they repeated over and over to themselves.
In our daily lives we can do something similar. We can repeat positive words to ourselves, and even make a happy song out of them. Before we realize it, this song will become a part of us. The proof of this is how often we say negative things to ourselves, and how well they stick.
Make up a song. “I can do it!”, “I am awesome.” “I believe that I can be the person I want to be”. Whatever it is, repeat the positive thoughts you want to yourself. Use your voice, not just thinking it in your head. We can make it real, and we can make it deep. With a little practice you will see your feelings change. You will be filled with these positive thoughts. You will be a new and improved you.
Please feel free to email me if you have any questions.