You wake up in the middle of the night, or perhaps, you never even went to sleep. It’s on your mind. It’s on your mind. IT’S ON YOUR MIND! No matter what you do you can’t seem to shake it. You have counted all the sheep in the world, and still the only thing on your mind is that one sore point. It weighs down on you like a thousand elephants. What will be? What if I can’t? What if they won’t? What if? What if? What if?
The sleepiness nights are wearing you down, and you can feel the effect, but you are no closer to your solution. The stress of the unknown and the fear in your mind is making you sick. It is harder to function in daily life. Maybe you take a day off from work, but that doesn’t help. This just gives you a full day to worry without any distraction.
Dwelling on the problem does not make it real. The vast majority of your stress is self inflicted and not real. (repeat that to yourself) The vast majority of your stress is self inflicted and not real. It has real effects on you, but it exists only in your mind. I will give you an example to explain what I mean. Imagine you got a call from the bank. They tell you that you have a long overdue debt that with fees and penalties has ballooned to over a million dollars. Whoa! That night, you are for sure not going to sleep. The dread and concern will race through your mind the whole night. Let’s rewind to yesterday. Did you have a huge overdue debt? Definitely. This problem has apparently existed for a really long time. What changed? Why are you stressed all of a sudden? What changed is that you found out about it. The world is exactly where it was and where it has been. The only difference is that it has now been brought to your attention. The feeling you have might feel overwhelming, but it is less tangible than a cool breeze. If in your mind it can arise and take hold so fast even though it is not a physical reality, you can use the exact same tool to save yourself from it. If rethinking the same bad thoughts can make you sick, then repeated good thoughts can give you life. They can bring you a sense of rejuvenation. Positive thoughts can reverse the damage done by the dread and can actually make you stronger than before.
Sure, we might need to make a plan to rebuild. You might need to figure out how to pay the debt, but that can be done. It might be that there is a relationship issue you need to work through with a family member or colleague, but there is no need to let it make you sick.
The Rabbis teach us that “there is no happiness like the resolution of doubt”. The converse is also true. The pain and suffering that we subject ourselves to is grounded in the uncertainty of the outcome. If there is something you can do about it, DO IT! If there is nothing you can do about it, why worry? Have you ever seen a small child drop their spoon, and then cry, wanting you to pick it up for them? Seems kind of silly huh? All they have to do is get down off the chair and pick it up. It is completely within their ability to do that. Yet for some reason, they sit and they cry and they wallow in their sadness. As silly as it sounds, we do the exact same thing all the time. If we need to make an important phone call, we put it off as long as possible, because it might not be a positive outcome. What bogs us down is the uncertainty of what the outcome will be, but even still we push off that outcome. When you wake up, that problem will still be there. Face the problem! Just get it done and taken care of. Even if the outcome were not positive, you will feel better because the unknown is now known! There is no happiness like the resolution of doubt. Happiness is yours for the taking. All you have to do is handle that looming task.
Instead of letting your problems tackle you and hold you hostage, take control of the situation and take the steps you need to handle it. You need not concern yourself with all of the steps at one time. Just start with the first one. Once you have made a bit of progress, you will already begin to feel better. Take another step, and then another. Soon you will have a strong positive momentum, and before you know it, the problem will be gone. Again, even if the outcome is not as great as you had hoped, you will find great contentment in the resolution alone. You can have happiness in your life. You deserve happiness in your life. Go get your happiness!
Practical tips
Try repeating to yourself that which you know to be true:
For example: “I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.”
or
“Everything is going to be alright. Everything is going to be alright. Everything is going to be alright.”
Do it as many times as it takes for you to hear it and accept it.